Mars Mining Corp · Surface Operations · Jezero Site
Posted outside the Mess Hall, next to the oxygen sign-out sheet. Read before shift. Initial the bottom if you were the one who did it.
Surface Operations
Employee #4471 was observed moonwalking across Pad C during a Level 3 dust storm. We are on Mars. The move is not even regionally appropriate. Three hours of suit-seal inspection were logged afterward. Any further choreography outdoors requires a signed Form 88-B and a spotter.
— Surface Ops Supervisor
Habitat Safety
A second on Mars is long enough to lose 14 kg of breathable air, two clipboards and one cardigan of sentimental value. The cardigan has not been recovered. Airlocks close behind you, every time, including when you are "coming right back."
— Habitat Safety Officer
Human Resources
PTO accrues at 0.4 sols per sol worked. A sol is 24 hours and 39 minutes, so yes, each day off is slightly longer than it was on Earth. You are welcome. Requests to take PTO "back on Earth" will be reviewed in roughly nine months.
— HR, Sol Office
Facilities
The Hab 3 air scrubbers can remove carbon dioxide, trace ammonia and particulate regolith. They cannot remove whatever happened on Tuesday. Hab 3 recirculates its air for 11 crew. Eat the fish cold or eat it outside, where you will also need a helmet.
— Mess Hall Manager
Surface Operations
The structure was impressive. It also had a moat, which means someone used potable water. Regolith is company property and is to be mined, not sculpted. The sandcastle has been photographed for the newsletter and then processed for iron oxide.
— Surface Ops Supervisor
Fleet Management
Rovers park nose-out in marked bays with solar panels facing the sun. Rovers do not park across two bays, behind the greenhouse, or "kind of near the ridge, I think." Reserved bays are for the oxygen truck. You are not the oxygen truck.
— Fleet Coordinator
Fleet Management
Rover 7 has been signed out under the name "Gerald" on 41 occasions. Rovers have serial numbers, not personalities. Please also stop asking Rover 7 how its day was. It has started to appear in the maintenance log as a dependent.
— Fleet Coordinator
Life Support
Each employee is allotted 0.84 kg of oxygen per sol. Sighing counts against your budget. Employees who exceed their allotment during the quarterly all-hands meeting will be asked to listen more quietly.
— Life Support Accounting
Human Resources
Surface personnel wear issued Mars Mining Corp pressure suits with caution-stripe banding visible from 400 m. Casual Friday is permitted inside the hab and means unzipping the collar seal one notch. Hawaiian print is not an approved suit pattern, no matter how it was requested.
— HR, Sol Office
Surface Operations
Mars has 38% of Earth gravity, which several of you have now tested personally. The new site record is 6.1 m, set by Employee #2208, who landed in the slurry pond. Records will no longer be tracked. The slurry pond is not a sandpit.
— Surface Ops Supervisor
Facilities
This week the menu is potato, potato au gratin and potato surprise. The surprise is more potato. Greenhouse 2 reports that the lettuce is "thinking about it."
— Mess Hall Manager
Communications
One reply-all to Earth takes up to 22 minutes each way. The Tuesday thread about the coffee machine has taken nine sols and now has 140 replies. The coffee machine was fixed on sol two. Please let the thread go.
— Comms Office
Surface Operations
The survey laser is for range-finding. It is not for initials, smiley faces or "HI MOM." Phobos does not belong to you, the company or your mom. Laser access is suspended pending a short refresher and a conversation about boundaries.
— Surface Ops Supervisor
Human Resources
Mars Mining Corp reimburses the commute to the worksite once, at roughly 225 million km. The return trip is covered by your contract after 26 months, or sooner if you can explain the sandcastle.
— HR, Sol Office
Facilities
One glove, left. One glove, also left. One tablet with 312 unread messages from Earth labeled "Mom." Please collect these items and call your mom.
— Facilities Desk
Surveillance stills are illustrations. Mars Mining Corp is fictional (for now). The space, AI and robotics jobs on our board are very real. Browse the jobs board.
Real internships and entry-level space jobs every Friday. No memos about fish.
